Grab My Wrist

The reflections of a 47-year old beginner in Aikido, about training, learning, aiki, horsemanship, and life.

Linda Eskin is horse person (dressage/trails), user experience planner (Web/apps), and a student at Aikido of San Diego.

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A LITTLE ABOUT ME
Most of the posts here are duplicates of my posts from my blog on AikiWeb.com, a very active and friendly community of Aikido students and teachers. If you are a member of AikiWeb, and would like to comment, please do so there.

I am a beginning student of Aikido, a martial art that, like horsemanship, takes a lifetime to master. These posts are only my own observations on my own experience. You should not rely on anything I say here. Any inept or incorrect information is my own responsibility, and should not be a reflection on others.

I am grateful to Dave Goldberg Sensei for being an extraordinary teacher, and for creating an engaged, thinking, and compassionate community of students and teachers at Aikido of San Diego. If you are in the area, visitors are always welcome to observe classes. If you are a student at another local dojo, keep an eye on our dojo calendar for upcoming seminars and other events.

Copyright 2009, Linda Eskin. Please feel free to share any of my poetry, online, or in print, keeping my name and any other acknowledgments with it. I will almost certainly be happy to let you use anything else I've posted here, with proper attribution, but please ask first.

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    Your Teacher is Always Right

    Since my last post was about looking for the lesson in everything your teacher does, I’ll expand on that a bit with a realization I came to recently about being a student.

    I’m a user experience analyst by day, writer, former technical communicator, and amateur horse trainer for fun. In each of those contexts I hear the same kinds of statements: “They’re just lazy.” “They’re too dumb to understand.” “They’re being difficult on purpose.”

    When you are a writer, user experience designer, teacher, or horse trainer, and your reader, user, student, or horse isn’t “getting it” (let’s just call that whole group “students”), it’s always useful to assume that the problem lies with you.

    It’s not that every failure of a student is your fault, but coming from that assumption is where you find your power to influence the interaction. This is a point I’ve been making for years. You aren’t using language they understand. You are asking more than they can do at the moment. You haven’t sufficiently grabbed their attention. You haven’t engaged them sufficiently in learning.

    If, in your mind, your student “really is too dumb to understand” there’s nothing you can do about that but whine and justify your failure. But if it’s that you are presenting the subject in a way they aren’t able to grasp, then you have the power to change that. By adjusting your communication style so that this student (however dumb they may “really” be) can understand, you can reach them. If users aren’t reading your 400-page manual, maybe it’s because it’s deadly dull, and hard to browse through quickly. Change that, and maybe they’ll turn to the manual instead of calling Support. If your horse is “being a pain” maybe you’ve made learning difficult and frustrating for them. Figure out how to make it easy and rewarding, and watch their “attitude problem” disappear.

    These are things I’ve been saying for ages. It’s your responsibility to reach them. If you aren’t reaching them, it’s your fault.

    Recently, as a new Aikido student, I’ve seen online several instances of students (often total newbies like myself) who have decided that their teacher isn’t quite all there when it comes to teaching, managing the dojo, or executing techniques. Or sometimes there are just subtle variations in things different teachers or sempai say or demonstrate, which lead a student to doubt that person.

    In watching these discussions, and my own reaction to receiving conflicting information, I’ve discovered an equally powerful complement to the above position: Your teacher is always right.

    Yes, of course there are teachers who should not be teaching. And if you really have one, leave, and find a better teacher. But in general, when you are the student, the most useful position to adopt is that your teacher knows what the heck they are talking about. As above, it’s not that your teacher is always right, but by assuming that they are you stand to benefit the most from their teaching.

    If something doesn’t seem logical or effective to you, you could say to yourself “This doesn’t make any sense.” If your teacher presents a technique that’s different from how you’ve seen it done somewhere else, you could decide that your teacher doesn’t have a clue. So there you are, with a clueless teacher who’s teaching things that don’t make sense. End of story on them - and on your learning.

    The more useful position, that your teacher is always right, leaves you asking the questions like “I don’t understand this -what am I missing?” or “This is different from what I’m used to seeing - how is this way better?”

    Instead of shutting down, mentally, you are engaged in ongoing exploration and questioning, looking for opportunities to expand your learning.