Grab My Wrist

The reflections of a 47-year old beginner in Aikido, about training, learning, aiki, horsemanship, and life.

Linda Eskin is horse person (dressage/trails), user experience planner (Web/apps), and a student at Aikido of San Diego.

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A LITTLE ABOUT ME
Most of the posts here are duplicates of my posts from my blog on AikiWeb.com, a very active and friendly community of Aikido students and teachers. If you are a member of AikiWeb, and would like to comment, please do so there.

I am a beginning student of Aikido, a martial art that, like horsemanship, takes a lifetime to master. These posts are only my own observations on my own experience. You should not rely on anything I say here. Any inept or incorrect information is my own responsibility, and should not be a reflection on others.

I am grateful to Dave Goldberg Sensei for being an extraordinary teacher, and for creating an engaged, thinking, and compassionate community of students and teachers at Aikido of San Diego. If you are in the area, visitors are always welcome to observe classes. If you are a student at another local dojo, keep an eye on our dojo calendar for upcoming seminars and other events.

Copyright 2009, Linda Eskin. Please feel free to share any of my poetry, online, or in print, keeping my name and any other acknowledgments with it. I will almost certainly be happy to let you use anything else I've posted here, with proper attribution, but please ask first.

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    Enjoying Weapons Classes

    I’ve been doing more weapons classes, and really enjoying them. There’s something that feels more centered and focused about working with weapons. Well… most of the time, anyway.

    We practiced tonight with the jo,
    and some things were starting to flow.
    But grace was not to be,
    ‘cause I fell like a tree
    when I caught my foot on Nage’s toe.

    I’m fine, thank you. ;) Just got my feet tangled up and fell plumb over sideways. Thud.

    I demonstrated just a little bit more competence during the rest of the class, at least. I don’t know what it is about weapons that makes techniques involving them seem so much simpler - or at least more comprehensible. Maybe it’s just that introducing a single straight line into the equation adds a hint of order or a point of reference to the usual wiggly confusion of arms and wrists. In any case, I find weapons classes to be quite a lot of fun, and very rewarding.

    —-

    I couldn’t resist adding this, which I’m also posting to the AikiWeb thread “Limerick Challenge”:

    Though I love Thursday night’s weapons class,
    my techniques with the jo barely pass
    for aikido. It’s true,
    and it makes me quite blue,
    that I tripped up and fell on my side.

    Haha… I crack myself up. :-)

    Whew! (day 16 of 16)

    This is a quick post about today’s classes. Tomorrow I’ll put down some thoughts about the whole 16 days.

    There were 2 classes today: Weapons, and open hand.

    In the weapons class we did the first 10 jo suburi. I think I’d done them all before, but at any rate none were a mystery, so I was able to focus on doing them correctly. I need to work on my timing. I was coming in ahead of the strike, which isn’t a terribly good idea. I’m feeling pretty good about most of the jo techniques I’ve learned. I’m sure they are very crude at this point, but I think I have the concepts down enough to practice a bit on my own, and recognize at least some of the things I might be doing wrong.

    In the second class we worked mostly (entirely?) on preparing to do breakfalls. (Yay! Something I have done nearly none of before today.) Not exactly like this video shows, but that’s the idea. I was with a group doing really easy, low stuff (like early in that video), while most of the class did more advance practice (like later in that video). Even the “easy” stuff feels really awkward and scary at first! Like “no way, I’ll die.” LOL But by the end of class it was feeling much more natural.

    It’s not that I’m in any hurry to be doing spectacular high falls, but I feel a little “at risk” not knowing the basics. Like driving a car without knowing where the brakes are. So I was really glad to start working on this a little.

    More tomorrow about the whole experience of my 16-day “Personal Aikido Intensive” experiment.

    Day 9 of 16: End of a Great Week

    Today, Saturday, wrapped up the first week of my 16 day Personal Aikido Intensive. I’m delighted and relieved to be able to say I’ve been having an awesome time, and am excited about having another full week ahead.

    Next week I’ll be in classes Monday through Saturday. M, W, & Sat. are two-class days. That’s 9 classes, 5 of which will be with Sensei. This past week (M-Sat) he was away, and the yudansha (meet most of the teaching staff at Aikido of San Diego) taught all the classes. I really could not have picked a better time to do this, because for the past week there has been a tremendous variety to the classes, and for the next I’ll have 5 days in a row of classes with Sensei.

    The whole 16-day thing kicked off with a killer Friday night class with Sensei. I think he was trying to tire us out so we wouldn’t be too hard on the yudansha during the week. ;-) It was an absolute blast. Sensei taught again on Saturday morning, and we did several really interesting exercises, including a walking-pace randori practice that looked like “Night of the Living Aikidoka” as 6 uke wandered, zombie-like in the general direction of each nage. Then Terry, Bill, and Doug had their exams, and there was the dojo party and potluck with the Sumo suits. (If you haven’t seen the video yet, scroll down and watch it.)

    The classes during the week were all as different as they could be, and offered many opportunities to try completely new things, hear familiar things explained in new ways, focus on different details, and so on. If I’m remembering correctly, I got to train with Megan, Jay, Cyril, Andy, and Karen. Classes were really well attended all week, too, and ran like clockwork, as usual.

    This morning was a pretty fast-paced, interesting weapons class with Jay. We worked with the jo, doing still more techniques I hadn’t yet seen. (I just tried to run through them all with my barn jo after feeding the critters this evening. Ah, the joys of long, dark nights and open outdoor space.) It sounds like there may be more opportunities to train with weapons, which would be great.

    Next was an open-hand class with Mike. Lots of complicated (for me… sigh…) techniques. Some I got, and some I was befuddled by. The really annoying ones were a couple that I nailed on the first attempt, and then couldn’t get right again. I’ve been finding lately that I’m much less frustrated with myself when that happens. I just keep trying, and don’t go into panicky brain cramps. The class was a lot of fun, and thankfully I ended on a good note by getting the last technique right.

    After class we cleaned the dojo and headed off to our respective weekends. Next up: Two 1-hour classes on Monday, with Sensei, and Cyril. But first, chores, resting, playing with the critters, and dinner with a friend.

    It's a Lot Like Line Dancing

    I’m going to try to keep this brief, because come hell or high water I am going to get 8 hours’ sleep tonight.

    Have you read the two diaries that make their way around the Internet every so often? One is by a cat, and one is by a dog. The cat reports the horrors of his captivity, while the dog is excited about everything that happens, all day long:

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    (From http://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/DogDiaryVsCatDiary)

    My experience of Aikido all this week has been reminding me of the dog’s diary: “Woohoo! My favorite teacher.  Yay! My favorite kind of class. Awesome! My favorite people to train with. Oh, good! My favorite techniques.”

    —-

    The teacher tonight asked me (since I’ve been to a lot of classes this week) what techniques we had been working on in the classes. Or at least what kind of work we had been doing. I could only come up with a very short list. I really should start being more conscious of that, I suppose. So I’ll try to post a very brief summary of at least a few memorable points from each class, mostly to use for my own review.

    Tonight we did a lot of bokken work:

    • Cutting, one direction, and then with irimi
    • 8-directions cut (happo giri)
    • Front rolls, and back slap-falls (?) with bokken

    We also did a bit of open-hand jiyuwaza.

    A fairly large class, with a broad range of levels, learning happo giri looks a heck of lot like a big group of folks trying to learn a line dance. It went very smoothly, and none of us whacked each other. I couldn’t help but think of The Electric Slide (video on YouTube), though, as we all stepped and turned at the right angles, all together. A music video would be hilarious.

    —-

    The most recent exams at the dojo were last week. Exams come around every few months, with the next date being February 6th, 2010. I don’t know if I’ll be testing then (for 5th kyu), and I don’t care. But I am setting it as a personal goal for myself to be on track to test then. That means paying even more careful attention to the techniques that are on the test, training thoughtfully, etc.

    We each work with a senior student when preparing for an exam. It’s our responsibility to find a mentor, so I’ve been doing some watching and thinking about who I might want to work with some day. At least if my name does appear on the Dreaded Dojo Whiteboard, I’ll have an idea of who to ask.

    To be clear, my goal is not to test on February 6th. I am not even hoping to test then. That’s up to Sensei, of course, and I’m not in any hurry to “get there” anyway. The goal is to train as if I will be testing, regardless.

    OK… Off to bed. Two classes first thing in the morning. Right after my 8 hours of sleep.

    Tonight’s class was weapons. We usually focus on one weapon per class, and tonight it was jo (my favorite!). We did the first 12 jo suburi, and a combination of several at the end. I think I’ve only done 1 through 5 or 6 before tonight. I definitely had not seen the bigger swirling-the-jo-around techniques - those were fun!
I really like weapons classes, for the opportunity to work independently and slowly. It’s possible to focus on the mechanics, alignment, center/base, staying relaxed, breath, posture, and so on, without the rush of doing partner practice. I wouldn’t want to train like that exclusively, but it’s nice to be able to break things down and work on what you need to work on.
I also like that once I get something basically down, I can practice it at home on my own. (I keep a spare jo in the barn for that.)
Tonight I was really happy about most of what I did (not really lost at any point). I felt much more solid and settled than usual during the techniques. Between techniques, however, I caught myself being a bit busy and unfocused in the way I was moving. I’ve seen what that looks like in videos (it looks ridiculous and goofy), and have been trying to be more conscious of it. So tonight I tried my “being someone else” approach (see that blog post). Sort of “how might this look and feel if I were…?”  It worked beautifully. No “trying” just doing. And then feeling what it felt like to be doing things that way.
There was a second class tonight, normally for 2nd kyu and up, but tonight anyone could stay for it. I was very tempted, but also very tired. I would’ve been the only one below 4th kyu. I decided to stay if by doing so I would make an even number of students (6), but as luck would have it the number came out odd with me (7), so I passed on participating. Probably for the best, as I was really wiped out from little sleep and a very fast-paced day at work. It wasn’t until I was on the way home I remembered that I also had to get the barn ready for a feed delivery in the morning, so it’s a good thing I didn’t stay later.

    Tonight’s class was weapons. We usually focus on one weapon per class, and tonight it was jo (my favorite!). We did the first 12 jo suburi, and a combination of several at the end. I think I’ve only done 1 through 5 or 6 before tonight. I definitely had not seen the bigger swirling-the-jo-around techniques - those were fun!

    I really like weapons classes, for the opportunity to work independently and slowly. It’s possible to focus on the mechanics, alignment, center/base, staying relaxed, breath, posture, and so on, without the rush of doing partner practice. I wouldn’t want to train like that exclusively, but it’s nice to be able to break things down and work on what you need to work on.

    I also like that once I get something basically down, I can practice it at home on my own. (I keep a spare jo in the barn for that.)

    Tonight I was really happy about most of what I did (not really lost at any point). I felt much more solid and settled than usual during the techniques. Between techniques, however, I caught myself being a bit busy and unfocused in the way I was moving. I’ve seen what that looks like in videos (it looks ridiculous and goofy), and have been trying to be more conscious of it. So tonight I tried my “being someone else” approach (see that blog post). Sort of “how might this look and feel if I were…?”  It worked beautifully. No “trying” just doing. And then feeling what it felt like to be doing things that way.

    There was a second class tonight, normally for 2nd kyu and up, but tonight anyone could stay for it. I was very tempted, but also very tired. I would’ve been the only one below 4th kyu. I decided to stay if by doing so I would make an even number of students (6), but as luck would have it the number came out odd with me (7), so I passed on participating. Probably for the best, as I was really wiped out from little sleep and a very fast-paced day at work. It wasn’t until I was on the way home I remembered that I also had to get the barn ready for a feed delivery in the morning, so it’s a good thing I didn’t stay later.

    A Whole Lot of Things

    I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to put together a coherent set of ideas for a post. So once again, here are some random bits:

    Still digesting everything Nadeau Sensei said when he was here for a seminar. One way he suggests looking at things is that you (your body, hips, and hara) are “the vaccuum cleaner” and the techniques (what your arms and hands are doing) are just attachments. It’s the horsepower/amperage that make the machine powerful, not which kind of brush you snap onto the hose.

    I’m beginning to see some of the layers of the onion that Aikido is. One that seems to keep coming up in the past couple of weeks is misdirection, as in magic. Using atemi to draw uke’s focus, appearing to be rooted on the line of attack while actually preparing to rotate off of it, etc. Playing with people’s perceptions is fascinating stuff.

    I’ve discovered that, in spite of trying to stay relaxed, I’m doing something during bokken work that’s really hurting my neck muscles - the little ones on the front and sides. I think it’s a combination of weakness there, and of using the wrong muscles to compensate for others that are weak. So I have some new strengthening and stretching exercises to do.

    I’ve been slowly losing weight and getting into better shape. In part that’s because of actual Aikido practice, but also because of all the other work I’m doing so that I can do the Aikido practice better, and without hurting myself.

    I’ve been reading books and watching DVDs like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve been really enjoying George Ledyard Sensei’s 3 DVD set on Entries. Frankly, I was initially very interested to see how someone could fill 3 DVDs with “just” irimi. It’s great material. clearly presented. Ledyard Sensei is a great teacher and really very funny sometimes. I also got the Ukemi DVD by Ellis Amdur. I’ve only watched a bit of it so far - planning to watch the whole thing this evening.

    Classes have been a lot of fun, and we’ve been doing some interesting exercises, like discovering where your balance-breaking point actually is, and what you can do to recover and continue once you’ve hit it. I’m still exploring (as I expect I may be for years) my propensity to mentally seize up when I’m overwhelmed. I’ve been doing less of that lately, but only because I haven’t been overwhelmed.

    My Sensei (Dave Goldberg Sensei, at Aikido of San Diego) does a 2-hour workshop every couple of months, on a Sunday. I couldn’t do the last one because my shoulder was still a mess, but I’m looking forward to the next one, “Relax, it’s Aikido - Discovering and developing deeper relaxation with integrity for better results,” on the 23rd.

    Also coming up, in September, our dojo’s annual Aikido retreat: http://www.aikidosd.com/camp.htm. It’s held in the Cuyamaca Mountains (east of San Diego). Everyone who’s gone before is very excited about doing it again. I’m signed up, and now wrestling with the decision to camp in my tent (private, quiet, comfortable…) or in one of the shared yurts (fun, up half the night, bonding…).

    Off to groom the critters and clean their pen. Picking up manure has got to be good jo practice, right?